Today is World Mental Health day. So I just wanted to share my postpartum blues and depression story with my readers (especially first-time moms) to let you know that you are not alone. Every mom-to-be and moms face baby blues or in few cases postpartum depression at one point in time. I always felt mental health is an exaggerated term until I wanted to become pregnant.
Table of Contents
I could see myself falling into depression for the first time when I lost my baby when it was just a few weeks old. An anecdotal pregnancy but the scars my angel baby left is deep in my heart and it is going to be there till I breathe my last.
After this incident for the rest few weeks, I went mute. A lot of negativity was flowing within me. All my confidence in being a strong person broke like pieces of glasses and felt as if each piece of glass is pricking me hard. Post this, all I wanted was to conceive.
A Ray of Happiness
Finally, I conceived!
After a few months, I conceived. That happiness just lasted for a few days. As I always use to get negative thoughts of the doctor telling me that baby is not moving, the baby is not growing. Every time I had to go for the scan, I used to fight my virtual devils the night before.
These things might seem normal for the one who knows about PPD because then you know to get hold of your emotions and try to do things that can make you feel better. Wherein it becomes hell for the ones who do not have any idea of what’s happening with them. I used to cry many nights in my third trimester without a reason. Fight with my sister for the silliest of the things.
I use to show off I was strong but trust me I was struggling. I was scared of being judged. I wanted this baby badly. I was scared to tell outside even to my closed ones because I was scared of being tagged as an overthinker or acting like a psyche.
Then my baby girl was born. I thought things are gonna change for better once I see the baby. I had moments of happiness when that little lips sucked milk like a pro for the very first time (just minutes after she was born) but by the time I was back home. I started feeling hopeless again.
I felt weird, bad. I didn’t even know what was going on in my head. Adding to the baby’s chores, losing sleep, not able to go out, not able to connect with the baby, not knowing what I really wanted I struggled, cried, shouted. After 5 good months, I started giving some time for myself and happened to join the support groups on Facebook and that’s when I feel I felt better. Till then I was in a mental lockdown.
If you want to know the support groups I was part of, please post a comment below this blog.
Spread Awareness on Postpartum Depression …
If new moms or mom-to-be whoever is around you. Please make them aware of the term called POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION. Because when they get to know every mom or mom-to-be who goes through this at one or another point in time they will at least be better than What I was or than the other mommies who were completely unaware of it.
Our Indian Mentality
There is a joke on it. If the power goes off abroad they call the electricity department wherein in India they check whether the next house has the power or not and feel better when power is not there in their house as well.
It’s the Indian mentality we always see if it’s common or normal among our peers. When something is common(for example fever), our mind finds a way to sort it out and come out of it but when you feel you are the only person who is going through this. The mom-to-be and new moms get intimidated by the thought of sharing it with others.
Spread the Word not the FEAR
Mentally feeling disturbed or depressed is a taboo in our Indian society. This in turn makes them feel doomed. So to make our mommy peers enjoy their motherhood journey with fewer hiccups. Let us spread AWARENESS about Postpartum Depression.